Especially for Teens – You and Your Sexuality

The teen years are exciting. They also can be confusing. Your body is changing. You are dealing with new feelings. You also may be starting to notice your own sexuality and may want to express it. Forms of sexual expression can range from holding hands, to hugging and touching, to kissing, to having sexual intercourse or other forms of sex.

Your Sexuality

Sexuality is a basic human condition. It can affect the way you look, feel, and act. Understanding the changes you are going through makes it easier to cope.

Physical Changes

Some time between the ages 8 and 10 years, most girls’ bodies start to change. This time of change is called puberty. As you reach puberty, a part of your brain tells your sex glands, the ovaries, to start working. The sex glands then signal other parts of your body to start to grow. These signals are carried by hormones. Hormones make your body change and start looking more like an adult. Over time, the following changes will occur:

* Your breasts grow
* Your hips grow wider
* You gain weight and grow taller
* You grow hair under your arms and around your genitals
* You get your first menstrual period
* You may get acne
* You start to ovulate

Boys’ bodies also change during puberty. These changes happen when their testes start working. This usually occurs between the ages 12 and 14 years:

* Their testes and penis get bigger.
* The hair on their bodies grows thicker
* They start to grow hair on their faces, under their arms, and around the genitals
* Their voices get deeper
* Their testes begin to make sperm
* They may get acne

Emotional Changes

During your teen years, the hormones that cause the sex organs to grow and function also cause strong feelings, including sexual feelings. You may get these feelings for someone of the other sex or the same sex. Thinking about sex or just wanting to hear or read about sex is normal.

Homosexuality and Bisexuality

Many teens wonder, “Am I gay or lesbian?” Things they have done — holding hands with a friend of the same sex, looking at or touching each other’s genitals — may make them worry and even feel guilty. These activities are normal in growing girls, and physical affection is common among many women. Many boys and girls are attracted to members of their own sex during puberty.

Homosexuality (or “being gay or lesbian”) is being emotionally and sexually attracted to a person of the same sex. Bisexuality is being attracted to both sexes. Being homosexual is not a choice a person makes or something that can be changed. If you think you may be homosexual or bisexual and feel confused or unhappy, talk to someone you know well and can trust.

Making a Decision to Have Sex

Ask yourself what your feelings are about sex. Are you really ready for sex? If you are dating, do you know how the other person feels about sex? Make up your own mind about when is the right time to have sex. Do not have sex just because:

* You think everyone else is
* You think it will make you more popular
* You are talked into it
* You are afraid the other person will break up with you if you do not
* You feel that it will make you a “real” woman

If you are not ready for sex, say so, and stick to your decision. It is okay to say “no.” If the other person truly cares about you, he or she will respect your decision.

If someone tries to pressure you into having sex, say no.

You should not feel pressure to have sex with someone, even if the person is an adult. Do not be afraid to forcefully say no on a date. Be aware that using alcohol or drugs may cause you to lose consciousness or that rape can occur.

Finally…

Being a teen can be both exciting and confusing. You face many decisions. To be sure you make the right ones, talk with someone you trust — your parents, your doctor, a teacher, a school counselor, or a coach — if you have questions.

This excerpt from ACOG’s Patient Education Pamphlet is provided for your information. It is not medical advice and should not be relied upon as a substitute for visiting your doctor. If you need medical care, have any questions, or wish to receive the full text of this Patient Education Pamphlet, please contact your obstetrician-gynecologist.

To ensure the information is current and accurate, ACOG titles are reviewed every 18 months.

This information is provided for your information. It is not medical advice and should not be relied upon as a substitute for visiting your doctor. If you need medical care, or have any questions, please contact your obstetrician-gynecologist.